Video transcription
I have a confession to make. What you are building is not really a “habit”. And the reason why it’s not a habit, and the difference between what it actually is, and a habit, is something I wanted to talk to you about today.
So, a habit has 2 characteristics.
- first of all, done regularly,
- and secondly, automatically; without any conscious thought or effort.
Once a habit is in place it has its own rhythm and it just works.
However the term “habit” has been appropriated, rather loosely by pop-psychologists to refer to something that has EITHER of these 2 characteristics. And that is not helpful because unless the “habit” you are trying to build is a simple physical or mental skill, then it’s not really a habit.
This is not to say that it won’t become easier over time, and indeed a part of who you come to think of yourself as. But it will never not require your conscious engagement.
So the term I propose instead of habit is “practice”. Practice has 3 meanings.
- First of all it is your usual way of behaving
- Secondly it means, to systematically build your ability through repetition; you know, “practice makes perfect”.
- And thirdly it means the actual application of an idea or belief or method
Why this distinction is important is that **whereas a “habit happens to you”, a practice is performed by you. **
Habits are an essential building block of evolution. They enable us to stand on the shoulders of previous simpler skills we have had to master. Many aspects of the physical skills of driving a car are an example of this.
What makes this a habit, or anything else, like getting dressed, or operating making yourself a hot drink, is 3 things.
- Firstly, the skill is relatively simple, and can be mostly off-loaded to our subconscious
- Secondly, it doesn’t require us to engage our will; in other words, it’s not effortful to do
- And thirdly, the environment of a habit is relatively fixed. For instance the layout of controls in a car are always in the same place (unless you have ever driven on the other side of the road in which case you quickly become aware of your habits)
Habits take us where we have always been. Practices take us to the new places we want to live in.
One of the things that makes a new practice all the more difficult is that it is competing with an already-embedded cast of existing habits. These habits have their own well-established rhythm and momentum and are very difficult to displace.
And whilst a practice promises more meaning and satisfaction in your life, they are also more effortful. In the face of this your habits stand on your shoulder and quietly whisper in your ear about how much easier and familiar and comfortable life with them is.
A habit is a machine. It produces what it has always produced.
A practice is living. It takes its lead from the Master and builds something that is one step more meaningful for you, from where you are.
If there was a single life-skill that I could wish for my children it is this. To develop the capability to master their 4 heroes, to live their life as a practice. What more powerful capability could there be?